Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. ~Aaron Levenstein
May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand. ~Irish Blessing
The common thread that binds nearly all animal species seems to be that males are willing to abandon all sense and decorum, even to risk their lives, in the frantic quest for sex. ~Randy Thornhill and Craig T. Palmer, A Natural History of Rape
Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. ~Wilson Mizner
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Truism: a statement the truth of which is obvious or well known and whose utterance, therefore, seems superfluous; an undoubted or self-evident truth, especially one too obvious for mention.
We must have reasons for speech but we need none for silence. ~Proverb
Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person's physical, emotional, and mental states. ~Carol Welch
There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. ~Martin Luther
I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because then I tried to walk out and slammed the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up really quick? ~Mitch Hedberg
Resting is the sort of thing you've got to work up to gradually. It's very dangerous to rest all of a sudden. ~From the movie Topper, 1937
Louise: "How did you get here?"
It's not women's fault that diets don't work. It's not perversity of lack of willpower. God did this - in Her great wisdom. ~Dr. Wayne Callaway
You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make. ~Earl Wilson
Money is power, freedom, a cushion, the root of all evil, the sum of blessings. ~Carl Sandburg
Why fly? Simple. I'm not happy unless there's some room between me and the ground. ~Richard Bach
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. ~William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice
Creditors have better memories than debtors. ~Benjamin Franklin
There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women. ~Madeleine K. Albright
To give vent now and then to his feelings, whether of pleasure or discontent, is a great ease to a man's heart. ~Francesco Guicciardini
No man is quick enough to enjoy life to the full. ~Spanish Proverb
And they die an equal death - the idler and the man of mighty deeds. ~Homer, Iliad
If it came true, it wasn't much of a dream. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes
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